Captain Seth was rather exhausted now, perhaps from getting pummeled by holograms, or maybe it was the extremely philosophical but dizzying conversation he had with his engineer. But in looking at his roster, he saw that he had only one more officer to meet: his counselor. The computer informed him that the counselor was located in another one of the holodecks. What was it with all of his senior officers running to the holodecks their first day on the job? Seth wondered. But when he entered the doors, it wasn’t what he expected at all. He was at a casino.
It was bright, loud, and looked fun. There were just so many people laughing, drinking, and throwing around a lot of green pieces of paper, apparently. It even smelled smoky, which was a sensation that he was not used to. He asked the computer which table his counselor was sitting at, and the computer led him to it. But the table that she was apparently sitting at was very unusual. The people that were sitting there looked like characters out of an old exobiology textbook. One looked like a human pirate, another a little Klingon, another a Xindi aquatic, and the last a Borg Queen. Seth trusted that they were all only holograms.
The only way he could spot the counselor was the fact that he could see a Starfleet insignia on one of the women. But the woman was entirely green. By human standards, she looked to be in her early thirties. Her hair was especially green, dark, shoulder-length, and had a nice curl. Her skin was only a light shade of green, and contrasted the dark color of her hair well. Her eyes were frosted yellow. She actually didn’t look too out of place from the rest of the silly characters at the table.
The counselor wasn’t wearing a standard Starfleet uniform, though her standard Starfleet combadge sat firmly above her left breast. Instead, she wore a ‘body suit’ similar to that of a Bajoran uniform. It was slim and outlined her womanly contours quite beautifully. The suit was split thinly down the front of her neck down to the center of her chest, which was not necessarily revealing but certainly left a lot to the male imagination. Like the rest of her, the suit was also green. Seth couldn’t tell just by inspection, but it looked as if her suit was made out of velvet or something. It looked really comfortable.
Seth stood over the table to watch the game. The dealer had just finished dealing out the cards, who glared at the next player up to bet. It was the Xindi aquatic, sitting to the left of the dealer.
“One thousand,” the Xindi said. It was just to match the big blind.
“Three thousand,” the next player said, who was a male human. A pushy move, Seth thought. The next two players, the pirate and the little Klingon, folded their hands.
Next to play, was the counselor. “Call,” she said calmly, throwing in her share of chips. The Borg Queen folded. Seth could see the Queen’s five mechanical fingers split into ten, allowing her to effortless shuffle three stacks of chips into one. The Xindi called.
“Six of hearts, King of Diamonds, and Queen of Diamonds,” the holographic dealer said, as he revealed the flop.
The Xindi was first to act. Seth had never met a Xindi, but he would have suspected it to be a mean player. Instead it sat there quietly, pondering over its next move. “Check,” he said.
The man next to him, going by the name of Tom, dressed up like a man from another generation and actually one of the more normal looking characters there. He looked carefully at the Xindi, and decided to continue with his forceful moves. “Eight thousand,” he said firmly.
The counselor stared at Tom with her large, frosted eyes. “Raise to twenty thousand,” she said. The Xindi threw in his hand in disgust. Tom pondered for a moment, and played around with his chips with his hand. He called.
“Queen of Clubs,” said the dealer, showing the Turn.
Everyone stared in anticipation of what Tom would do. But there was no hesitation, he already made his decision. “All-in.” The dealer counted his chips: forty-thousand.
The captain watched the game intently. That was a huge bet. It seemed like Tom was trying to represent the top hand. Or perhaps he was drawing out for something ambitious, like Kings full of Queens. It didn’t look like he was trying to bluff.
The Counselor smiled. “Call,” she replied casually, letting out a puff of smoke from her cigar. She flipped over her cards: Queen of Hearts, and a Nine of Hearts. She was the one who had Trip Queens.
The hologram “Tom” flipped over his cards: a King of Spades, and a Six of Diamonds. He already had two pair, but it wasn’t quite enough to beat the Counselor. He was chasing that Full House; he needed another King to win. That was not out of the realm of possibility; with two outs there was still a four percent probability that he would get one. Not great, but the possibility was there. Another Six wouldn’t help him, because that would give the Counselor Queens full of Sixes.
The dealer turned over the last card, “Ten of Clubs.” The counselor had won with her Trip Queens, over his dead hand of two-pair. She squealed with excitement, and collected all of her chips.
Tom was furious. That was the third time she had burned him today, and he was out of the money big time. He lost eight bars of gold-pressed latinum just today. He got up and slammed the table with his hand, let out a curse. Seth stepped in, just in case he was going to try and hurt his counselor.
“Don’t think that looking like a famous poker champion would raise your chances of winning. Next time wear some sunglasses,” she joked. She turned to Seth and whispered, “Commander Beil was always a poor loser.”
“Oh,” Seth said. Wait…Commander Beil? Commander James Beil of the U.S.S. Valero?
“But I appreciate your concern,” she said to Seth. “It’s very cute.”
“I’m Captain Darren Seth.” He extended his hand to shake hers.
“I’m Jenovia. Ship’s counselor.”
“No last name?”
“What is it with you humans that think that everyone has a first and last name?”
Seth tried to change the subject. “I don’t remember this program being in the database,” he said.
“It’s my personal program, I brought it aboard with me from my previous assignment. But you’re welcome to use it if you like. Why don’t you join us? We’ve got an empty seat now. As you can probably tell, it’s five-hundred dollar, one thousand dollar, no-limit Hold-em.”
“Alright, sure. But I warn you that it’s been a little while since I last played. I’m a little out of practice…”
“It is a human game, you know.”
“That doesn’t mean I know every human game in existence,” he immediately countered. He sat down where Tom was sitting. He gestured to the dealer to hand him some chips. The dealer just looked at him oddly.
“Umm, what are you doing?” Jenovia asked Seth.
“I need some chips,” he said.
“Oh, you have to buy those chips.”
“Are you kidding? This is a holodeck program.”
“Yes, but it’s my program, and I say anyone who plays at my table has to buy in.”
Seth thought that was ridiculous. “Alright, how much? I don’t exactly have money here. This is the twenty-fifth century, you know.”
“Buy-in is two bars of gold-pressed latinum. Each bar buys you forty-thousand at this table. Don’t mind the conversion, I just made it that way. You can pay on credit if you like. I know you’re good for it.”
“Great, I meet you for one minute and already you have something on me.”
She seemed delighted by those words, and a smile slowly crept on her face. She puffed at her thin cigar, but he couldn’t tell if the cigar was holographic or not. “Without something at stake, captain, life’s no fun. Besides, you’d be surprised what you’d be able to get out of a Ferengi when you have enough latinum.”
Seth peaked at his cards: an Ace of clubs, and Four of diamonds. Good enough. He was the first to act after the Borg Queen and the Xindi threw in their blinds, and raised the bet. “Three thousand,” he said.
The pirate and the Klingon folded. But when the Klingon threw in his hand, the little guy climbed aboard the table and yelled a Klingon curse that surprised even the Counselor. “Aw baQa’!!” he yelled.
The Counselor, the Borg Queen, and the Xindi called his raise.
The dealer turned the Flop: Four of Hearts, King of Hearts, and Two of Clubs. Not exactly the flop Seth was hoping for, but it wasn’t the worst. He knew that his pair of fours was hardly a hand to be pushing people around with, but he wanted to know if anyone had actually paired up with a King. And with only four people in the hand, it was possible that no one had one. Besides, it wouldn’t hurt to at least represent that he had the Kings. His suspicions were confirmed when the Borg Queen and Xindi only checked. “I bet twelve thousand.”
Jenovia stared at him, piercingly. It was easy for her to do that with her frosted yellow eyes. It was both beautiful and intimidating, like staring into Medusa. “Call,” she said calmly. The Borg Queen took another look at her cards, and a cold voice came from her lips, “I fold.” The Xindi called.
The dealer showed the Turn. Six of Hearts. Nothing. His pair of fours was looking weaker. Even if she only had a low pair, like fives or sixes, he would lose. He needed another Four or an Ace to show up on the board. “Check,” he said.
Seth immediately regretted it, because Jenovia made an aggressive move, “Twenty-thousand.”
Damn, he thought. The Xindi promptly folded. He knew how she was playing him, but what was she doing? What did she have? He currently had near two-to-one pot odds, and a far less probability that he would win on the River. He decided that it just wasn’t worth the risk. He threw in his cards. “Take it.”
Jenovia smiled. Since Seth was new to the table, she decided to show him her cards. Two of Diamonds and an Eight of Clubs. Seth just scoffed at her. “You know, I don’t think I want to play anymore.”
“Already? Oh come on, don’t let your counselor intimidate you. I’ll be more gentle from now on,” she joked, laughing jovially as she said it. “I promise.”
“No, it’s time for me to go anyway. I have duties to attend to.”
“Here, I’ll walk with you,” she said. She turned to the other players, “You guys can keep playing.” The two got up to leave the table.
“Computer, exit,” said the captain. “So should I ask if you’re a telepath? Or would that be considered rude?”
“You don’t need to be a telepath at all to play Hold’em. I can tell you that I certainly am not one.”
“You’re not even an empath?”
“I’m not a telepath, or an empath, or an any-path. I can only see what you’re telling me. For instance, right now, your heart rate is slightly elevated, your pupils are dilated, your face is slightly flushed, and…”
“…And what?”
She seemed embarrassed to say. Or maybe she didn’t want to embarrass him. “Nothing.”
“What species are you? You don’t look familiar to me at all.”
“We’re known as the Villenes. Most people mistaken us for the Orions, but in truth we don’t associate much with them. Our similarities end with the skin.” The Orion slave girl image immediately came to Seth’s mind. He couldn’t help but look to see if Jenovia’s body frame could fit the image. It certainly could. “And no, we don’t have slave girls on our world,” she immediately said.
Damn, he thought, how’d she keep doing that? “I’ve never heard of your kind before.”
“As a species, we have heightened senses when it comes to observation. Every time you swallow, look at the ground, bite your lip, fidget with your nose, it tells me everything I need to know. Your asympathetic nervous system is even worse for you, because you can’t consciously control it. We can detect even the most subtle changes, an increase in pulse rate, changes in the skin, even the slightest change in sweat production. I can actually smell small fluctuations in certain hormone levels. We make very good doctors.”
“I can see why.”
“At times, all of this can give us the appearance of psychic abilities, but in truth, humans give everything away without saying a word. Klingons are even easier.”
“And you play poker with holograms to hone your observation skills.”
“As I’m sure people have told you before, in poker, you play the player, not the hand. And they’re not holograms, Captain. They’re actual players from other ships who are using holographic projections on our holodeck to play, that is, if their ships are within range. Players can choose their own avatars.”
“So Tom really was…Commander Beil of the U.S.S. Valero?”
“That’s right. They can have any projection they want, but it has to be humanoid, so that we can see each other’s faces. No dogs or cats or inanimate objects. There has to be a face. And what fun would it be to play against empty holograms? Besides, I couldn’t make any real money if that were the case. Commander Beil still owes me sixteen bars of gold-pressed latinum, plus interest.” She stopped for a second, as if struck by a brilliant idea. ”It would be great to introduce your senior staff to the game. I’ll bet playing with that Breen soldier would be very interesting…”
Captain Seth smiled. “I’ll mention that to him when I see him next. But he doesn’t seem like the poker type.”
“I also insist that the physiological responses of the holograms be tied with those of the player. Your most obvious physiological responses are most evident when you are either afraid that you have something valuable to lose, or you become excited about what you might gain. It is why I insist that a player buy-in to play. The player needs to have something at stake, otherwise there is no point in even playing. Let’s face it; such is the game of life.”
“And what if players decided to put on sunglasses to cover their eyes?”
Jenovia laughed. “To me, that would be like telling a Klingon to hunt down a Ferengi with one eye closed. It just doesn’t matter.”
“Remind me not to play you anymore…”
“Poker is already a game that is half probability and game theory, and half gut feeling. I simply tip the scale towards a more scientific approach overall by being cognizant of humanoid physiological responses to certain events.”
Seth just kept walking. He was impressed with her approach to the whole game, which was clever and analytical. He had no idea if what she was saying was correct, but her success with the game would suggest that she did in fact know what she was talking about.
“Let’s take Commander Beil, for example. When the Flop was laid down, his eyes stared at the King of Diamonds on the flop a fraction of a second longer than he did the other two cards, and he returned to even after he looked at the third card. By itself, that may not be significant, but I know Commander Beil enough to know that his attention is sharpened when he sees a card that he likes. It wasn’t hard for me to put together that he had a King. My only concern was that he might have had pocket Kings, but his reaction didn’t warrant that assessment. My suspicions were confirmed when he had a subtle negative reaction to the second Queen that came on the Turn. And with only a four percent probability of another King turning up on the River…well, there’s nothing that I need to explain there.”
“Seems hardly fair for a human to play you. A human would never be able to detect something like that.”
“I’ve been beaten by humans many times before, and not because of luck. Don’t ever underestimate the power of instinct, captain.” she explained.
Seth continued to be impressed with his counselor. It wasn’t every day that he would meet an alien species who could just see right through him.
“You might be interested to know that I had a chance to play Captain Santiago from the Excelsior.”
“You did?” Seth sounded very surprised.
“Not to worry, he wasn’t one of those people able to beat me. I cleaned him out, actually. He was furious,” she said, smiling as she said it. “Quite frankly, he was even easier to read than you.”
Seth couldn’t help but feel a little better after that comment, despite the hint of insult to him. “He’s certainly an upfront individual.”
“You guys are easy. I would normally never play with a hand like a Two of Diamonds and an Eight of Clubs.”
“Oh,” Seth said, now even more embarrassed.
“Santiago even tried to recruit me.”
“What? Before I even met you? He just boarded my ship!” he returned, now reddened with anger. That guy had some nerve, Seth thought, moving in on his crewmembers.
The Counselor just laughed. “Yeah, well, he said that you were busy, so he stopped by here. He made me quite an offer, one of the largest quarters on his ship, with perks that would make an Admiral jealous. Again, not to worry, I declined. But, he seemed adamant that his ship and crew were more ‘capable’ than we were. That the Excelsior overall was a better ship.”
“He would say that. He’s an arrogant ass. Wait, how much did he believe in that?” Seth thought that he would immediately put Jenovia’s skills to good use.
“He believed in it a hundred and ten percent.”
“Arrogant ass,” Seth muttered again. There was no other way to describe him. Who else did he try to recruit from his ship? Lieutenant Commander Thorn? Dr. Min? Chief Engineer LeCroy? And what exactly did Santiago have to offer that Seth didn’t?
“I obviously objected. But I suggested one way to settle…”
Oh shit. He was supposed to meet with Santiago later that evening, he just remembered. “What time is it?” Seth interrupted.
“It’s 2010 hours. Why?”
“I owe an arrogant ass a drink.”
